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STEVE BURITTO’S CRUNCHY FORTUNES – December 2018

Just when you thought your month was all sorted

Mozaik [Artist - Louis Wakley  instagram.com/louis_x_i_v/]

DECEMBER 2018

SAGITTARIUS: Your lucky smell this month will be fish taco.

CAPRICORN: This month you will get a Brazilian. His name will be Juan and he will steal your car.

AQUARIUS: For a brief moment everyone in Woy Woy will think that you’re dead sexy

PISCES: Your lucky porn star this month will be Jimmy (The Inny) Hardwick.

ARIES: Remember, a large Hawaiian is not always a pizza

TAURUS: Your totem animal this month will be the Wombat. The largest of all the bats

GEMINI: If you have one lasagna and you put a lasagna on top of it, you still only have one lasagna.

CANCER: You will briefly forget that thingo….again.

LEO: Well your Mum was right. It finally fell off. I hope you’re happy.

VIRGO: Congratulations, you will be just two people away from a threesome

LIBRA: You will find Jesus. He’s behind the lounge covered in dust and gum. You really should take better care of your deities.

SCORPIO: This month you will finally realise that it is your circus. They are your monkeys and all that poo is yours.

Written by Central Coast Live

If it's on the Central Coast it's on Central Coast Live.

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